Etiquette

     

I am not Audrey Hepburn, but when I think of the word Etiquette she pops into my head.  A woman with style, well groomed, well dressed for the times and for the weather. A woman with class and a natural beauty.

Where did it all go I sometimes wonder.  I try not to be a judgmental person.  Actually I consider myself to be very understanding and accepting of all styles and classes.  I don't differentiate and I dislike status labels.  I don't like to think of myself as a snob either....that is not what I am.  Snobbery annoys me at the best of times. I am usually flexible in my dress sense, I don't always get it right and by no means am I a fashion expert. However I believe there is a time and a place for everything and then there isn't....

Here's what I mean:  When I was growing up my parents always expected us to be clean, well dressed, on time and ready to go.  We were usually the first one's to arrive.  Upon arriving it was droned into us that we had to shake everyone's hand or kiss them on the cheek 3 times.  Depending on whether they were family or friends would depend on the handshake or kiss.  If someone older then us walked into a room and you were sitting, you had to stand and shake their hand and introduce yourself.  At big functions we had to say hello to all the people we knew and were my parents age or older and then we could go off with our friends and enjoy our evening.  During meal times we had to sit at the table and eat everything on our plate using cutlery according to each course.  We could not leave until the plates were removed.  We were also told to ask questions if we didn't understand something and to participate in conversations as it was impolite to sit there and say nothing.

When it came to what we wore it had to be weather appropriate.  No opened toe shoes in winter. Usually for me it was stockings a skirt a few layers underneath my jumper or coat.  A hat or beanie was optional and gloves too.  In summer it was tasteful dresses and nothing above mid thigh.  My father did not like me wearing a lot of make up in my teens...but I would always sneak in some eyeliner, eyeshadow, mascara and lipstick...sometimes using the lipstick as blush.  We were also taught to be respectful of others, to learn what other nationalities find acceptable or not and to never offend.  Every country has rules regarding etiquette.  Hand gestures, eye contact, bowing, hugging and even kissing all have a different meaning.  In Europe men kiss on the cheek, here in Australia its not the case unless your family is of European background.  So its important to know these things especially if you travel.

These days I still carry with me all of what I was taught in that regard.  If you speak to my child hood friends they will tell you I was always well groomed.  That no matter what my circumstance I always took the time to comb my hair and wear some make up. I also hate being late.  I actually hyperventilate when I think I'm going to be late. When I see people wearing thongs (flip flops) or sandles in Winter with no stockings but a scarf and a hat I don't understand what the thinking process was behind this.  Do you think your going to be warm if your half naked from the waist down?  Then come Summer I find that you get all sorts of things showing up that your eyes may find it a bit too much...

 

      Some good winter attire. A Coat and Boots are always a good staple for the cold months.

You don't have to be naked to look good.  There are some great dresses out there. Maxi dresses look great on nearly everyone. (Unless your a man).





Not all of us were born with size 0 figures.  But some people dress as if it really doesn't matter.  There is nothing wonderful about having bits hanging out and drawing attention for all the wrong reasons..I have many friends in all shapes and sizes. There are so many places you can now go and buy clothing that suits your body shape.  Its not about trying to look wonderful or trendy, its about looking comfortable and happy.  Nakedness should be reserved for behind closed doors. Semi nakedness to the beach in a bathing suit and even that has its limits.  I think trying to look like a street walker is not attractive.

I also don't understand women who are obviously in the twilight of their lives dressing like they are 19.  Recently I saw what I think was an 80 year old wearing shorts almost to her throat. It was not a good look and that image is still in my mind.  That is what triggered my inspiration for this blog today.   What happened to those sweet grandmother's that make you  treats and hug you in their big bosoms wearing clothes right down to the floor.  I miss my Grandmother and could not imagine her wearing anything past her ankles. When I think of her I think of freshly baked bread, a warm fire and her big laugh.  I think I would be mortified if I arrived and she was wearing a mini skirt and dancing on tables.  But we live in a crazy world.  I'm just glad my Grandmother wasn't part of it.


I will most likely get told off for writing this blog.  But I wanted to say that no matter what your shape or size or age, gender, or background.  You can still look amazing without trying to be someone your not or without trying to follow fashion that does not suit you.  Accentuate your best points and for goodness sake in Winter wear a coat or a jumper.  A singlet top and shorts does not count as a Winter wardrobe staple!

I really like the style's they had back in the 1920's, 30's and 40's.  I love it that men wore hats and suits and women had beautiful hairstyles with exquisite clothing.  But most of all the behaviour towards people at that time was also different.  The way someone would look you in the eye, pull out a chair for you and women would just glide.  Even I need to improve in some areas but most of all I think we all need to take a bit of time to show respect not only to other people but to ourselves.
  
 If you can start with YOU then everything else will fall into place. 

     The 1920's Bowler hats and drop waist dresses and skirts.  Hair was neat and tucked away.

The 1930's Butterfly sleeves, shoulder pads for men and women, elegant coiffed bob hairstyles.

1940's Vintage Suit. Hats were popular for both men and women. The fashions of this time were all about accentuating the hour glass figure and most skirts were to the knee with cinched in waist lines.





 “Respect for ourselves guides our morals; respect for others guides our manners”
― Laurence Sterne

Nostalgia

As I sit here in the wee hours of the morning thinking about things I need to do or haven't been done I find myself floating off to a different time.  We all miss parts of our past lives and as I get older I find myself thinking about these times more often then before.

My earliest memories are a mixed bunch. And there are so many of them.   I have the times my brother and myself played on our Grandparent's farm overseas, always finding interesting things amongst the tall grass and trees. An old beat up car was our favourite.  We didn't have cubby houses in those days. It was just us, a few sticks and stones and an empty car we pretended to drive.

 Sometimes we would climb out the window and wait for the horse and cart to come along filled with watermelon. My grandfather would approach the cart pick out the melon and it would be cut up all while sitting under the window sill which was just above the footpath.  Then  we had the days with me running thru cornfields and not coming home till nightfall.  Spending time in European snow was another one.  I still to this day when visiting, jump into the snow and roll around much to everyone's amusement.  In Australia we went up in the mountains to enjoy the snow.  Mt.Buller being our favourite!

 Photo taken not long before we migrated to Australia  in 1971 from left to right: Uncle Ivo, (mums brother) My mum Katarina, my mum's sister Auntie Marija (Mara), my mums other brother  Uncle Miso, My Dad Jozo. Sitting:  My grandfather, mum's dad Pero and my grandmother mum's mother Andjelka and little me....




 

Me rolling around in snow.  This photo was taken Mt. Buller, Victoria approximately 1983



 I do have a memento from the time I picked up a bell that belonged to a goat and then had to run for my life when the Goat decided to chase me.  I was 7 and I still have this bell as a keepsake. Its one of the only things I have left that hasn't broken or been accidentally thrown out.

 The infamous bell I stole from a goat in 1977. Has lasted the test of time. Its one of my most cherished possessions. I can still remember running for my life and gee that was one angry goat.


I also had my first taste of alcohol as a teenager.  It was Kruskovac a sweet pear liquer.  It was very sweet but deadly and I had lots of it....and lots of it came back up again. I have never had this again.  To this day I'm not big on alcohol.  I definitely didn't inherit the Balkan, Baltic or Australian love of drinking.  I also loved the food. (That I did inherit) This was the time when no one even thought about diets nor did we know what that was.  We ate all the wonderful specialties including the tasty stews, creamy, decadent desserts oh and the fresh doughnuts, my mouth waters just thinking about it.

 My first experience with alcohol.  Pear liqueur.  Never again is all I'm going to say about this.

Doughnuts.  Who doesn't love them?  Home made and fresh. Yum.  I would love some right now!



We were lucky to be able to experience a bit of the European lifestyle. Even if we did grow up in Australia!! We brought some of it with us along with everyone else who came here.  I love it that we have the different varieties of food from many diverse cultures and we are so fortunate to be able to experience that.  We had international days at my school.  Everyone would bring food, photo's and dancing groups would show us their style and the music was fabulous.

You can't go without thinking about Summer in Australia.  Back then it wasn't as hot as now. We would spend morning till afternoon on the beach then go across the road to the park and have an evening bbq.  Sometimes it would just be fish and chips wrapped in a newspaper costing almost nothing. Chips were 20c back then for a bag!There would be parents and kids everywhere.  Not to mention our annual holiday down the coast sleeping in tents and running thru the caravan park.

 A special moment between father and daughter. One of our many trips to the beach. A beautiful time.
 Photo taken in 1981 Williamstown Beach Victoria.


I especially remember weekends with my parents.  Actually weeknights too.  We went everywhere with them. No babysitters in sight and my dad would always take us out while my mum worked on Saturday and Sundays.  We would start with either are hearty breakfast of scrambled eggs with sausages and onion mixed in or it would be piping hot Vienna White bread with butter and jam.  We drank coffee but only a light amount in warm milk and we loved it.  We visited museums, parks, the city, rode on trams, ate chocolate out in front of Parliament house. We went to dances, had endless fun parties and visits during the week and they had time for all of this on top of their hard laborious jobs.  They embraced all that was on offer and they gave us the best memories of that time.


My dad took photo's of all our outings and gatherings.  We have so many albums full of a life lived.  The photo's I have on here are all his work.  I am grateful as he has left me so many snapshots of our adventures.

Back in those days there were no fancy cakes bought.  It was all handmade by my mum.  Who is in this picture with me.  Photo taken 1977 Melbourne, Victoria.

New Years Eve not sure what year this was (approx 1981 or 1982) but I do remember the dance and how much fun we had.  My parents, their friends and the kids. Those were some great times.

My brother and I visiting the many parks in Melbourne where we grew up.  We never spent our days indoors.  My father captured this moment perfectly.  The carefree nature of our childhood.

This was taken at Footscray Park.  Behind us is the Maribyrnong River and behind that in the distance is the Flemington Racecourse where The Melbourne Cup is held every year.  My dad always made us pose for photos and we always complained.




I have to laugh  I spent quite a bit of my childhood in the 70s and 80s.  The fashion we had back then borders on horrendous and insane. First we had flares, crochet tops and everything was tight at the waist, flared at the bottom and brown in colour mostly! Then came the bubble gum jeans and leg warmers on top.  Fluorescent T-Shirts and socks, bangles and netting on top of your clothes. Sniff and scratch shirts became popular and Choose Life T-shirts from the band Wham which stirred up controversy in its own right.  We had those big wide belts and puffy skirts and who could forget shoulder pads and bright make up that stood out for kilometres.

Me in my 70's get up.  Blue Flares, Orange top, white hat. Bit of a mish mash but fashionable for the times.  This photo was taken in 1976. We were off to the Melbourne Zoo.

Bubble Gum Jeans.  This is exactly what they looked like and how tight they were.  I think now they have the modern version and its called Skinny Jeans.  I must admit they were comfortable.




 And let's not talk about hairstyle's...ok well let's talk about hairstyles.  The gravity on some of our hair do's in the 80's would even defy space.  The amount of hairspray, mousse, gel and whatever else kept hair up was astounding.  I honestly don't know how any of us have hair left.  ( Well some of us don't ). And then there was the perm.  I had 3 of them and boy did I think I looked good.  I wasn't the only one with the perm.  The boys were loving their curly mullets.  It was a sign of masculinity back then. haha.

 What most guys looked like back in the 80's.  A perm was a big deal.  A permed mullet was an even bigger deal.  You were cool and you knew it.  We can only laugh now.




But besides all that is laughable some of the best music came from the 70's and 80's.   I remember rocking to Foreigner, Kiss, Whitesnake, AC/DC, Mondo Rock, INXS, Bon Jovi, Bruce Springstein, Twisted Sister, Pet shop boys and then you had Wham, Adam Ant, Billy Idol, Boy George, Belinda Carlisle, Pat Benetar, Cindy Lauper, Madonna, Brian Ferry, Michael Jackson, Cool and the Gang, Lionel Ritchie, Chaka Khan, MC Hammer,  and many many more.  It will take up another page to write them all down. Let me not forget break dancing.  Every child wanted to master it and you would find kids everywhere practicing. We had the teenage angst movies, Breakfast Club, St.Elmos Fire, 16 Candles,  There was Police Academy and Flashdance, Footloose  and who could forget Patrick Swayze in Dirty Dancing. I remember Night clubs were called Discos, we had no mobile phone's so I wonder how we ever organized to go out and meet up.  None of us used the internet or the computer, there was no social media and to ask someone out you had to get a home phone number and call. Most of the time your father would answer and  that would be the end of that.  haha.

 80's singer Adam Ant.  Real name: Stuart Leslie Goddard. Lead singer of Adam and the Ants.

 80's female pop star Cindy Lauper.  Real name: Cynthia Ann Stephanie Lauper.  Famous for songs such as:  Girls just wanna have fun and Time after time. 

 One of my favourties INXS.  Great Australian Rock Band. Cannot wait for the mini series about their lives.  Never Tear Us Apart and Original Sin are just two of their hits.

 The movie Flashdance.  We all wanted to be Jennifer Beale and dance like her.  Until we found out she had a body double.  Leg warmers and sloppy joe tops never looked so good.

 Every teenagers favourite highschool movie about detention.  I could watch this over and over and never tire of it. Some very funny moments. Detention was never like this at my school.

And who could forget the movie Dirty Dancing.  We were all in love with Patrick Swayze and wanted to be flipped, twirled and held. The one line that's stayed with us:  No one put's baby in the corner!!!

Break dancing.  I tried so many times and just couldn't do it.  The dance started on the street and exploded world wide.  We didn't have Gangham style.  We had Break dance style.



I sometimes wish for those times.  Everything seemed easier and more romantic.  Every generation will most likely say the same thing about their time as kids and teenagers. But I think these days the world of Information Technology has taken a bit of the mystery out and bombarded us with too many images of things that are really confusing and not appealing.  Too many choices and not enough imagination.

I worry for my children.  They will have to be extra careful with what they put out there and what they do with photos, videos and anything else that can be bought, sold and used to embarrass and bully. We live in a time very different to our own childhood and of our parents beforehand.   The teachings of those times are outdated.  Some things like discipline have had to be streamlined.  No more whipping from parents. Its illegal.  You have to learn to adapt and help your children cruise through this world with as much guidance, support and love as you can.  You can hold onto a few things like respect and teaching your children to be kind human beings.

I will in time take my children overseas and hopefully they will experience a little of what I did in those days.  If not eating watermelon outside then maybe having an ice cream from the man selling them on the bike or rolling around in snow and having a white Christmas.  Who knows they may even have their own goat chase them and bring home a keepsake.

But whatever the experience they have I hope they can look back fondly as I do and have no regrets about days gone by.  Life is to be enjoyed and memories are to be made. Material things are temporary but when you leave this world you take your past and present with you.  The future you give to your children and those that are left behind.

Your legacy is your memories.


The only real treasure is in your head. Memories are better than diamonds and nobody can steal them from you”
― Rodman Philbrick, The Last Book in the Universe

Forever Young

People often ask me what I do to stay looking young.  I sometimes have to think about this before I answer.  I have noticed quite a few changes physically since I turned the big 40.  Not excluding the fact that I have had two children in the last 3 years.

I personally believe there are a few factors, a combination of things that may help you retain some youthfullness in your middle years and beyond.  I have not tried any cosmetic procedures/surgery so I can't comment on Botox or fillers.  But I am not against it.  Heck I might even try a little bit some day.  But only a small amount.  I don't want to end up looking like a duck or a puffed up balloon like some unfortunate celebrities.  I do think there is such a thing as tasteful cosmetic surgery. People like Cher, Christie Brinkley and Joan Collins got it right.

But let's face it.  Most of us are not celebrities and we do not have the resources or the money to give us that extra helping hand.  There are some things you can do and my advice will only come from my own experience.  Its what works for me and recently I have changed a few things in my repertoire.

Also before I go further your genetic disposition also comes to play.  My parents always looked young for their ages so I think that has passed over to me.  However I won't be taking it for granted.

First thing I'm going to stress is this:

Tip 1:  Keep out of the Sun as much as possible. Use the highest possible sunscreen you can find for your face or find a moisturizer that has sunscreen in it. When I was younger you would find me at the beach sun baking just like most people.  But the weather has changed, the Sun is stronger and rates of skin cancer have risen.  Even though I have Mediterranean, Olive skin I have made a conscious effort to keep out of the way of direct sunlight.  Its been 10 years now and I see the benefits.  I so far have no wrinkles on my face however from my earlier sun exposure I do have pigmentation.  So I know how bad the sun can be.

 
If you cannot bear to part from the beach and summer days at least wear sunscreen. Avoid sun baking between 10 and 2 (if not longer) and never ever sun bake your face.  Wear a hat and sunglasses.  You will be grateful in the long run when you see how good your face is and how much better you will look as you age.


Nivea Light Feel Sun Veil 30+
A good inexpensive light moisturizer with high sunscreen content.  I use this one.

Tip 2:  Always moisturize.  Day and night.  Find a moisturizer that works for you.  It doesn't matter if you have dry, combination, normal or oily skin you still need to keep the moisture balance in your face.  A good idea is to change your moisturizers every 10 years including your eye cream. When I was in my late teens early 20's my skin was a lot more oily, then later more combination.  Now I'm still a combination type but I also use anti aging products. You don't have to spend big bucks on this either.  There are some great products that don't cost a fortune.  As long as you stick to a routine your on the right track.

Olay Total effects SPF 15 Anti Ageing:
 A great all round middle range daily moisturizer.  I usually use this one in winter.

Olay Regenerist Night cream:
is hands down the best night cream I have ever used in my life.  I have gone off and tried other products but I always come back to this one.  Keeps my skin supple without the greasy feeling.

Olay Age defying eye gel:  
A lightweight cooling gel great for dark circles and puffy under eyes.  I have been using this one for about 5 years and I have nearly no wrinkles around my eyes. It absorbs really well and helps eye make up glide on.

Tip 3:  Always, always take your make up off before going to bed.  I think in all my life I have only ever slept with my make up on once and I regretted it.  A beautifully made up face goes a long way, but not taking it off goes an even longer way in destroying your skin.  It gets sucked into your pores and damages all those beautiful cells that rejuvenate your skin at night time.  You can now buy some good cleansers to get rid of your makeup or make up remover wipes.

Neutrogena make up remover wipes.
Takes off eye make up too.

.

Avon Moisture effect eye make up remover.  

Takes off even the most stubborn smokey eye.  I use this one every night along with my Loreal  Revitalift cleanser.  This one does not strip your skin of its natural oils and takes off all make up.  Highly recommend!

                                                              

Tip 4:  Exfoilate: It is a good idea every 2 or 3 days to use a scrub and take off the dead skin that sits on the surface of your face. I do this after cleansing and usually on a day when I'm washing my hair.  Doing this regularly will keep your skin bright and give it a glow.  Try using a scrub that isn't too harsh on your skin.    Kiehl have a really good one and smells fantastic too.

Recently I have tried the Skin Doctors Powerbrasion kit that comes with its own tool.  I have been using this for about 8 weeks and have noticed a difference in the size of my pores and overall feel of my skin.  I would recommend this as a treat once a year for 8 to 10 weeks.  Comes with its own AHA cream too.




                            



If you cannot do anything else the four tips above are basics.  Even with 2 children I have found time to follow my basics.   If you want to be a bit more adventurous you can look into serums ( which I also use) and a good mask once a week.  Choose one that you feel comfortable using and suits your skin tone. I sometimes don't get time to do this but some of the new masks out there only require 5 minutes.  And if you have all the time in the world, look into getting a facial once every month or six weeks.

Serums to look out for:  Avon Anew Vitamin C serum.
 I have used this and noticed an improvement in the overall texture of my skin.  This particular one isn't drying and gives the skin a smooth finish.  

Clarins has an excellent serum.  If you have a bit of extra money spend the most of it on a good serum.  When I have money to splurge I do it on this.

Masks:  Olay Pro x  a great treatment mask and is hydrating.

St. Ives have a cheaper alternative.  Works just as well.

A good idea is to visit a dermatologist or skin care specialist and get them to test your skin and tell you what your skin type is.  Even if you don't want to buy any of the products they sell you can find out what is best for you. 

Besides the topical products you also need to look at what your eating and your habits.  Now I'm not going to say I've been perfect.  I was a smoker for quite a few years ( a social one) but none the less. I started in my late 20's and quit after my second pregnancy and during both pregnancies.  I must say since then my skin has improved and I have noticed a brighter look in my eyes.

That would have been my only and worst vice. I'm not a drinker and I have never taken drugs.  I think sometimes when you are young you feel invincible, but believe me your habits will catch up with you.  The trick is not to have too many bad habits.  If you smoke, drink, eat junkfood, don't get any sleep are always unhappy it will show on your face.  Try to get enough sleep.  A minimum of 7 hours is recommended.  I used to get my 7-8 hours before my kids.  I still have a 9 month old baby who breaks my sleep but once she gets into a better routine I will go back to having my quality sleeps!

I have always followed a pretty balanced diet. With every meal I have had, I have included raw vegetables and cooked ones too.  I've stayed away from fats, I don't drink coffee ( except in the past an occasional latte when out with friends but not anymore). Taking a multivitamin can also help in maintaining inner balance and if you have issues with food intolerances see your doctor who may prescribe some other vitamins that will suit you best. I am not good with taking pills but they have invented gummy vitamins and now it's a bit easier to swallow.

One other thing I will mention is, I have not had soft drink since I was a child.  Actually I think soft drink is disgusting.  If it can dissolve a rat and a tooth then you might want to think about what your putting into your body.  To me its like getting a bucket of sugar and swallowing it.  So I would say cut it out or cut it back....I recently read a book called  "The Beauty Detox Foods" by Kimberly Snyder. .....which really opened my eyes to some of the foods and drinks we put into our body.  She gives you step by step instructions on what certain foods does to your body and which one's are the best to keeping you looking good and staying young.

Any type of exercise you can manage is good too.  Lately I have been a bit slack in this department but am getting better.  If you can find at least 30 minutes then do it. All thru my school years, teens and 20's I did some form of sport. My 30's I did mostly walking and Yoga.  I will shortly be going back to this routine.  I have already started at home.  Its not about how hot your going to look its about the health benefits.  Feeling fit and active will improve all facets of your life.

The final thing I think keeps you looking youthful is your state of mind. Positive attitude is something that makes even the most elderly person look vibrant.  You need to find a balance and that thing that gives you a spring in your step.  If you can maintain this always, your face and your mental state will thank you.  I know its not possible to always be feeling happy. There were times I thought how do I get thru this?  But it is possible to pick yourself up and smile. Positivity attracts Positivity. Bad things will happen but its how you deal with it that's important.

If all else fails remember, you can always start tomorrow.



 “Youth is happy because it has the capacity to see beauty. Anyone who keeps the ability to see beauty never grows old.”
― Franz Kafka

Hello 2014

 

Its been a while since my last blog and I have a good reason for this.  Visitors from interstate ( my mother and niece), a party for the New Year and Orthodox Christmas celebrations for which I did all the preparation and cooking. In between, doing my everyday mother duties and drinking my Green Smoothies which I might add is improving my skin ten fold!!

Most people are well on their way to either breaking resolutions made or actually doing what they promised themselves to do.

This year I have turned a corner.    As I mentioned in my last blog, the last few years my life has become different and I have noticed that certain things are different around me too.  Maybe its my circumstances or maybe its change, but I have seen a shift in attitude, in friendship and in all factors of my life.  But the last couple of weeks have forced me to really sit down and think about my priorities.

I once had a friend (who is no longer with us) say to me that I should never ever compromise on who I am to make other people happy.  That in the end it would be me who would not be happy.  He would say to me stay true to yourself, be that wonderful, crazy person you are!! I often think of him and miss having him here to bring me up when I feeling down or just to slap me into place with his honesty.  I'm finding that honesty is not everyone's best quality.  All of a sudden you find yourself in a situation where you think to yourself, I did not see this coming or you don't understand when someone just turns their back on you.  You ask why and get no response.  To me that is cowardice and this is why I have turned a corner.  I'm done trying to figure out what the problem is and asking questions that never get answered.  Not everyone appreciates confrontation and getting things out in the open.  Some people just don't care, not enough to fix things or to work it out.

I am no longer going to apologize for who I am. This I covered in my last blog as well but I can see a pattern already arising and its only been a couple of weeks and yet again the bad habits are forming!!  But no more I'm putting a stop to it!
 
This year is the beginning of the new ME!  ( Yes I know New Year, New Me...but I will stick to it this time)

I've already begun slowly incorporating healthy alternatives to eating.  Next, I will be allocating time to exercise and will do my Yoga classes again. I have continued reading novels,  but this time I will also be reading books on self improvement. I have already purchased a book on Healthy Eating and have learnt quite a few things about food I didn't know previously.  Sometimes a bit of help goes a long way.  I will take my children out more and I will find time to have better conversations with friends who really are just that...friends. 

Hopefully by the time 2015 arrives, I will be in a whole new wonderful place with a different mindset and a calmer interior.

Its amazing how a few run of events can really shake you up and change your outlook.  I think January is one of those months where you are still cleansing yourself from last years negatives and slowly but surely things start moving in the direction you were originally headed.   Its a bit like my dear friend up there in heaven visiting me and saying:  Now what did I tell you all those years ago...? Why are you not listening to me!   Come on get on with it...he he

I have to smile, some people just never leave you no matter where they have gone and you carry the echo's of their words with you, even if for a while they have been dormant.

You may have noticed that along with everything else, I have changed the layout of my blog.  I decided that I needed a softer look for this year, but I still couldn't part with my froggy. Let me know if you like my choice or if you miss my 'brash and bold red, out there come and get me design'..hehe

I leave you today with another one of my favourite quotes which sums up my circumstances.  Hope your all enjoying the first month of the New Year and that your resolutions are in full swing!

 

“To laugh often and love much; to win the respect of intelligent persons and the affection of children; to earn the approbation of honest citizens and endure the betrayal of false friends; to appreciate beauty; to find the best in others; to give of one’s self; to leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch or a redeemed social condition; to have played and laughed with enthusiasm and sung with exultation; to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived—this is to have succeeded.”

― Bessie Anderson Stanley,

The End of 2013

Well its another year almost gone.  I usually go into reflection mode and think how did I go this year and where did it go? What did I achieve? What did I lose or gain? Who did I meet and what changed my life. Last time I looked in the mirror I was sure I was 25.  It seems the years are flying by. Faster then I really want them to.  I always thought I had plenty of time and now I think I don't have enough time.

This year has been a year of mixed emotions for me.  My beautiful daughter Nikita came into this world in April, healthy and vibrant.  My pregnancy on the other hand was a difficult one and I really appreciate how strong you have to be to bring these precious beings into the world. I am never one to complain when I am sick or feeling terrible but this pregnancy challenged me in every way.   What I can say though is Nikita is a wonderful baby and 2013 will always be special for that reason.  A Vietnamese lady told me that all girls born this year will have luck on their side and a blessed life. That in her country couples everywhere had been trying to conceive.  She said I was very lucky and I agree with her. I love my little peanut and she is such a joy.  Our family is complete.

This year has also had its fair share of bad days too.  But I will not dwell on them. They are the times when you are tested and you need to find a way to rise above.  I have been doing a lot of that lately.  As the years go so quickly you realize you don't have time or energy to waste on the people who do not wish you well.  Or the people who are a constant negative.   Or things which are irrelevant and take up too much time.  With each year that passes I try to be a better person.  I want to be a good mother, one which my children will be proud of and one that they can look up to.  I don't have time to argue or fight with people or worry about silly things.  I want to invest that time in my little family and watch how we all grow and develop.

The last few years have brought very big changes to my life.  I went from being a single, care free woman with a career and a big social life to a partner, a full time mother who is mostly house bound with two kids.   Its been quite an eye opener for me and I have great respect for my parents and how it must have been hard to raise us with limited English skills and knowledge of a new country.  I never thought being a parent would be hard.  Though there are days when its pure magic and then the days when you just want to fall into a heap and cry.

2013 for me really is just a continuation of 2012.  These last two years have been tough to say the least but I have also had a lot of time to think about what direction I want to go in and what to do next. I am always a moving forward type of person.  Once I leave something behind it stays there.  Once I end a friendship, relationship or job I usually do not go back. There is a reason you ended it in the first place and like the year that ends so should your putting any effort into it. I love change, I love that something new is about to come at me.  It may not always ideal.  But I am willing to see what's coming.  That's why bring on 2014.

A New Year, with new hopes, new outlook and hopefully a new body :) I am looking forward to the beginning of whatever is in store for me.  Thank you 2013 for your lessons but its time for you to go. Yes I will probably gain an extra wrinkle here or there but I am also gaining a fresh new start to something wonderful. Fingers Crossed.

Happy New Year to all of you out there.  Whatever you are doing be safe and I really hope 2014 is filled with success, love and happiness and that we can all find our own inner peace. Let all that we have been dreaming about comes true, that we enjoy every minute with our families, that we aspire to be the people we truly are and that everything good in the world happens to those who truly deserve it.

Good luck and see you all in the New Year xo

For last year's words belong to last year's language
And next year's words await another voice.”
― T.S. Eliot, Four Quartets