In life you will always meet people who bring you happiness, sadness, provoke your thinking or your feelings, who guide you, or take away from you, who share their secrets or steal yours, who are there for you whenever you need them or who are not there for you at all.
For me, every relationship I have had has taught me something. Some of these relationships have had a profound effect on me as a person and have ultimately changed my way of thinking and have also changed me as a whole. People come and go, but their essence always lingers.
I believe that there are people who come into your life at a time when you either need them or don't. Every one of those times is a lesson and an experience. Every change brings you something new and you have to roll with the punches. There can be extreme high's and lows but as they say what doesn't kill you will make you stronger. Having children has taught me patience for some things and not for others.
As a friend I haven't always been perfect and I don't think I am an expert on this topic either. But I wanted to share a few things that I have gone thru in my life that have made me the person I am today.
My relationship with my parent's was relatively good. I wasn't a problem child and a reasonably good student. But I was also fiercely independent from a young age and hated anyone doing anything for me. I think my parents realized this and although they were quite strict when I was young they also gave me the freedom to make my own decisions and be my own person. Which I am very grateful for. Especially my father who always said to me that I should make my own choices, my own mistakes, learn to trust my instincts and to always rely on myself. He also reminded me that when the going gets tough you can't always wait for someone else to change that situation for you.
To this very day I have trouble asking for help even when I need it. I'm still working on it.
In my 20's I was fortunate to meet a lot of interesting and varied people. I had moved out of home and gone to live in another part of the country and everything was exciting!! I was young and relatively inexperienced about what was out there, but I wasn't afraid to be on my own and I wanted to see it all.
Going out in a new big city was fun.....I had the pleasure of spending time with all sorts of wonderful people.....it was a great time...I remember thinking how much I loved the diversity in everyone. Whether rich or poor everyone bought something to the table. I loved that they were all talented and their energy was contagious....There was a lot of laughter and we were all so care free..when we had nothing we had each other, someone always had a guitar, or a drink or cigarettes to share....to this day I am still friends with most of these people...but we also had our fair share of problems. I learnt that no matter how much money or status you have it doesn't always end up with a happy ending. What's important is how you deal with your issues and the best way is to sometimes not try to control everything. There are some things that you can't hold onto no matter how hard you try...I have learnt to let go slowly. Let go of friendships that no longer work, let go of pain and hurt and I'm still learning to not try to save everyone. Sometimes you have to let nature take its course. I wasn't experienced enough to know these things back then and how to deal with something that was bigger then me, but I did try and fail a few times. I picked myself up again and started over. I now don't make the same mistakes twice. I try to learn from my friends, especially those who inspire me and who are not with us anymore. You never stop learning and your never going to know everything even if you think you do.
With every year that passes and every time you have a change in your life whether that be a birth, a death, a marriage, divorce, a new job, a move to a new state or country, wealth or financial stress you will have your friendships tested, pushed, or dissolved. You will meet new people too. Some will change with you, others no longer have anything in common with you, others will come in passing and some you wonder where they came from at all and why are they here. Others still simply can't be around you because you have something they want or don't want or the path you have taken is not for them. Its all a part of this never ending quest for us to learn, grow and develop.
Recently I read a sentence that went something like this: If the ending is bad then start a new beginning. I think this can be applied to most of us. We should see change as a good thing, face our fears and if we need to move on then let's go. There might be someone joining you for the ride or you can do it yourself. It's not scary, just hold your breath, go 1, 2, 3 and before you know it you have made a change for the better.
Be realistic, communicate to your loved one's and friends, seek help if you really need it, ask for forgiveness and forgive. Try not to hold grudges and if simply a relationship is not working sit down and think about it and be honest. Nothing worse then a relationship turning into a habit and a bad one at that. Its a waste of time and emotion. Really we only have one life so let's make the most of it.
So for now enjoy what you have, hold onto what's dear to you, clean the clutter from your mind and your life and go out there open your eyes and see how great things can be. It may be bumpy along the way but you will get there.
Today I will leave you with this:
The only security is not owning or possessing, not in demanding or expecting, not in hoping, even. Security in a relationship lies neither in looking back to what it was, nor forward to what it might be, but living in the present and accepting as it is now.
Anne Morrow Lindbergh
The
only real security is not in owning or possessing, not in demanding or
expecting, not in hoping, even. Security in a relationship lies neither
in looking back to what it was, nor forward to what it might be, but
living in the present and accepting it as it is now.
Read more at http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/a/annemorrow140814.html#M8lIrA7EvhoH8BLS.99
Read more at http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/a/annemorrow140814.html#M8lIrA7EvhoH8BLS.99
The
only real security is not in owning or possessing, not in demanding or
expecting, not in hoping, even. Security in a relationship lies neither
in looking back to what it was, nor forward to what it might be, but
living in the present and accepting it as it is now.
Read more at http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/a/annemorrow140814.html#M8lIrA7EvhoH8BLS.99
Read more at http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/a/annemorrow140814.html#M8lIrA7EvhoH8BLS.99
Bye for now, stay happy....:)
A
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