Well its another year almost gone. I usually go into reflection mode and think how did I go this year and where did it go? What did I achieve? What did I lose or gain? Who did I meet and what changed my life. Last time I looked in the mirror I was sure I was 25. It seems the years are flying by. Faster then I really want them to. I always thought I had plenty of time and now I think I don't have enough time.
This year has been a year of mixed emotions for me. My beautiful daughter Nikita came into this world in April, healthy and vibrant. My pregnancy on the other hand was a difficult one and I really appreciate how strong you have to be to bring these precious beings into the world. I am never one to complain when I am sick or feeling terrible but this pregnancy challenged me in every way. What I can say though is Nikita is a wonderful baby and 2013 will always be special for that reason. A Vietnamese lady told me that all girls born this year will have luck on their side and a blessed life. That in her country couples everywhere had been trying to conceive. She said I was very lucky and I agree with her. I love my little peanut and she is such a joy. Our family is complete.
This year has also had its fair share of bad days too. But I will not dwell on them. They are the times when you are tested and you need to find a way to rise above. I have been doing a lot of that lately. As the years go so quickly you realize you don't have time or energy to waste on the people who do not wish you well. Or the people who are a constant negative. Or things which are irrelevant and take up too much time. With each year that passes I try to be a better person. I want to be a good mother, one which my children will be proud of and one that they can look up to. I don't have time to argue or fight with people or worry about silly things. I want to invest that time in my little family and watch how we all grow and develop.
The last few years have brought very big changes to my life. I went from being a single, care free woman with a career and a big social life to a partner, a full time mother who is mostly house bound with two kids. Its been quite an eye opener for me and I have great respect for my parents and how it must have been hard to raise us with limited English skills and knowledge of a new country. I never thought being a parent would be hard. Though there are days when its pure magic and then the days when you just want to fall into a heap and cry.
2013 for me really is just a continuation of 2012. These last two years have been tough to say the least but I have also had a lot of time to think about what direction I want to go in and what to do next. I am always a moving forward type of person. Once I leave something behind it stays there. Once I end a friendship, relationship or job I usually do not go back. There is a reason you ended it in the first place and like the year that ends so should your putting any effort into it. I love change, I love that something new is about to come at me. It may not always ideal. But I am willing to see what's coming. That's why bring on 2014.
A New Year, with new hopes, new outlook and hopefully a new body :) I am looking forward to the beginning of whatever is in store for me. Thank you 2013 for your lessons but its time for you to go. Yes I will probably gain an extra wrinkle here or there but I am also gaining a fresh new start to something wonderful. Fingers Crossed.
Happy New Year to all of you out there. Whatever you are doing be safe and I really hope 2014 is filled with success, love and happiness and that we can all find our own inner peace. Let all that we have been dreaming about comes true, that we enjoy every minute with our families, that we aspire to be the people we truly are and that everything good in the world happens to those who truly deserve it.
Good luck and see you all in the New Year xo
For last year's words belong to last year's language
And next year's words await another voice.”
― T.S. Eliot, Four Quartets
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