Life and Death

Recently there has been quite a few deaths in the celebrity world.  Mostly from drug use and overdoses.  Some from suicide. When I hear about someone taking their own life I am transported back to 1999, the end of my 20's, the end of a century and the end of a life gone way before its time.

Life was pretty fast back then.  Working 3 jobs and partying every other night.  You could say part of it was tough and part of it was fun.  Financially I struggled to pay bills but miraculously managed it all.  I refused handouts. My pride wouldn't allow it and even though there were days I felt alone and depressed, I always knew there was light at the end of the tunnel. That everything would find a way to be sorted out.

But that's me.  Not everyone thinks that way and sometimes for some people there is no light anywhere.  Only a great big, long pit.  A tunnel with no way out and an abyss of darkness.

My friend B was a charismatic, generous, intelligent and all round wonderful human being.  He could make me laugh with his imitations of people and he would astound me with his memory.  He remembered everyone's name after meeting them once, even the difficult ones!  He came from a family of wealth and privilege,  and never wanted materialistically for anything.  He was always there for you, would make sure you were alright and would offer you everything just to make certain you were happy. He was the best friend you could ever have.

But what I didn't know was that B held a dark secret which I only found out much later. Too late in fact.  He was depressed and unhappy with his life. He had been diagnosed with Bipolar (manic depression) and was not managing it.  He was a recreational drug user which only made it worse.  I remember one conversation we had where he said to me "Ana somedays I just don't want to be here, its all too hard"  To which I replied "Don't be ridiculous you have everything you want, your life is not hard at all"

What I didn't understand or forsee was the seriousness of his comment and the gravity of which his depression had taken hold.  A person who gave so much but didn't ask for anything.  He always seemed in control.  Happy go lucky with the occasional off day. He hid his pain and depression very well. That conversation haunts me to this day.  I sometimes don't sleep because I wonder could I have done anything to help him and would he be alive if I just saw the signs.

When I did find out that he had taken his own life, I felt shock, anger, extreme sadness and for days after his funeral I just walked in a daze. I was furious but beside myself at the same time.  I remember his brother telling me to not be angry, to not blame myself that none of us could do anything. But I couldn't help thinking if I had just listened and paid attention maybe just maybe it would have made a difference.

The sad truth is that I most likely would not have been able to do anything.  That someone when determined and when in their dark hour will do what they set out to do.

I was always taught to suck it up when things were tough.  To not feel sorry for myself and to just get on with it.  But even so there were times I even entertained the idea of going away. Permanently. Not  seriously really.   But never could I go through with something like that.   There is nothing worse then seeing your loved one's suffer when you go.  I just couldn't do it to those I know care for me. During B's funeral it struck me just how many people loved and cared for him.  But no amount of love could save him.  For whatever reason he just decided that was it.  He had planned it, he took care of all his finances and left things for his family to find.  He was done.  No Goodbyes.

I have been very ignorant about mental illness.  To me it was a weakness.  I couldn't understand why people couldn't fight it, rise above it.  I always thought killing yourself was the easy way out, that it was selfish and stupid.  But I now see that its a lot more then that.  Over the years I have seen some people get through it with the help of families, friends and therapy.  I have also seen others spiral out of control and never recover.

None of us are born the same, in the same circles or circumstances. Some of us are tough on the outside but extremely fragile and vulnerable on the inside.  I think we should all be mindful of our surroundings.  That we should ask ourselves why this person is the way they are and treat everyone how we would like to be treated.  Never underestimate or overestimate the behaviour of a person and if you see a friend you feel is not coping, ask them if they are ok or just be there for them any way you can.  If you see someone who is coping too well, then that may also be cause for alarm.

For those of us who have children, we can only hope that we can instill in them a sense of self, a strong belief in their abilities and give them the tools to fight their way through this unforgiving world we live in.  Teach them to be strong, to know how to deal with difficult situations and to be compassionate and kind human beings.

B is someone that is very much missed.  Every year I light a candle for him to commemorate his life.  I always hope he has found peace.  He taught me the greatest lesson.  To never take my life for granted and to keep my mind strong.

I would like to think that he would be proud of me and that he knows he was one of my greatest friends.

To anyone out there feeling down and feeling blue.  Tell someone. Tell a friend, a family member. Don't feel you can't open up to someone.  It is hard but its better then battling it alone.  You can also call a hospital or a lifeline number and they will talk with you.  Don't despair and don't sit there thinking you are better off not here.  Chances are there is always a better way and you can get there with a little help.

It doesn't matter if your a celebrity or your average Joe, at the end of the day we are all people no matter where we are from.  No one is invincible, and no one is made of stone.  We all have problems that need dealing with, we just have to push through them and get onto the path that's meant to be.

 You will get there.  Just fight!  Fight for your life and know you need to be here.  The world is a better place for having you in it.

Find a place inside where there's joy, and the joy will burn out the pain.

Joseph Campbell

Read more at http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/j/josephcamp384345.html#CyRzsK0Xq6b5Bdia.99

Find a place inside where there is joy and the joy will burn out the pain:  Joseph Campbell

Quick and Easy.

Some days I really need more then 24 hours to fit in all the things I need to do!!! When I was single and living on my own, I didn't think I had enough time for everything so I would just not worry about it.  I could always, while I was out, eat dinner.  I could leave the washing for tomorrow, cleaning could be done once a week and hey, washing my car would be once a month.

If I was really busy then I could always pop in and visit my mum and dad who would at least feed me.  When I was living interstate, a family would adopt me and I would eat with them once a week or so....or I would whip up something quick and easy, there was no time for extravagant eating.

I felt I was just too busy with my work, my social life, events, holidays that needed planning, trips away for the weekend and let's not forget shopping for shoes, bags or outfits. I had to squeeze it all in.

And then I had kids. Why ever did I think I didn't have time before?  These days the laundry is a never ending pit.  Just when I've completed one cycle here comes another.  The kids need to be fed nutritious meals.  Two minute noodles will not do.  Then there is cleaning the house.  Once a week.  What?  Not any more...try about 4 times a day. I just finish vacuuming and bang something gets spilt or knocked over. The shopping needs to be done, dinner has to be cooked, kids toys need to be put away and I need to fit in a toilet break....Not for the kids but for me!!!.   Then I have to provide entertainment, My baby girl needs her bottle, sleep time, and constant nappy changes. My son wants a DVD, or a game to play or a drink.

Usually its the late evenings when everyone is asleep, and the dishwasher has been filled I can actually sit down and write this blog or read.  Every morning before the kids wake up and while I am getting my day ready, I try and read a bit of the news and check my emails. I do this at the end of the day too. I check all other social media  on my phone while doing other things.. I miss those days when I could read the papers on a Sunday for hours just relaxing in bed in my pajamas.  These days its me reading to my children and its usually a story of some far away land.

I have learnt through all this to at least cook food that is nutritious and doesn't take up too much of my time.  I'm not a fan of junk and I don't like giving it to my kids.  Z and I are not getting any younger so its important we look after ourselves.  I will share some of my go to recipes for you  today.  These are the meals I cook when all I have is about half an hour or less.  They taste great, are easy to make and most of the time I have the ingredients in the pantry, fridge and freezer.  I sometimes vary the recipes depending what on what I have.

Always keep frozen fruit and vegies on hand so you have back up when the fresh stuff runs out. Staples such as rice, cous cous, Quinoa, pasta, polenta, potatoes, lentils, soup noodles, sauces, diced tomatoes, stock, condiments and dried herbs.

We may all be busy, but no reason for us not to eat, take a breath and enjoy our surroundings.


Quote of the day:   "Slow down and enjoy life. It's not only the scenery you miss by going to fast-you also miss the sense of where you are going and why."
--Eddie Cantor



Green or Red Curry Prawn Stirfry

Recipe: 

1/2 Kilo of  Green Prawns tails on
2 large tablespoons of Green Curry paste, you can buy Red or Yellow depending on the level of hotness you like.  Green being the hottest.
I can of light coconut cream
I bunch of Baby Buk Choy
1 small can of sliced waterchesnuts
1 carrot sliced thinly
I can of baby corn spears and stems
1 small bunch of broccoli
4 mushrooms sliced
2 packets of noodles. Any of your choice will do.  Or Jasmine rice.
Vegetable Oil
Sesame Oil
1 teaspoon of Fish Sauce
2 or 3 dried Kaffir lime leaves. (or you can get these in a jar at the supermarket).
1 or 2 limes.

( You can use any vegetables you have for this.  The more you use the better)

Method:

Slice up all the vegetables. In a small girdle pan sear the prawns for 30 seconds on each side with some salt and pepper and remove immediately.
In a wok add two tablespoons of oil,  Add carrots, waterchesnuts, cook for a minute. Add mushrooms, cook for a minute. Then add  the baby corn, cook for another minute add the broccoli.  Cook for another minute.  Add the 2 tablespoons of curry paste, cook another minute.  Add the coconut cream, 4 drops sesame oil, I teaspoon of fish sauce, 1 teaspoon of lime juice, and a couple of Kaffir lime leaves. Add the prawns and simmer for a minute. Add the baby bok choy.  Turn stove off and let flavours combine. Taste and adjust seasoning with salt and pepper if you wish. Meanwhile cook rice or noodles as directed on the packet.  Using bowls, add the rice or noodles with the Prawn Curry on top.  Garnish with some lime wedges.





Thai San Choy Bow

Recipe:

1 Cos lettuce
500 gms of turkey mince or chicken mince.
1 brown onion diced
2 cloves of garlic diced
6 small mushrooms diced
1/2 cup of cooked peas (optional)
I shredded carrot
1 long red chilli (take out if your serving to kids)
4 spring onions sliced into small pieces
1 tomato diced or 6 small cherry tomatoes quartered
1 tablespoon of Light Soy Sauce
1 tablespoon of Ketchap manis
1 tablespoon of Coriander ( from the squeeze jar in the salad section of the supermarket)
1 tablespoon of lemongrass
1 teaspoon of ginger
1 teaspoon of sesame oil
1 teaspoon of lime juice
1 cup of chicken stock ( or one stock cube with one cup of hot water)
salt and pepper to taste.

Method:
Mix together light soy sauce, sesame oil, ketchap manis, coriander, lemongrass, ginger, lime juice, chilli, garlic. Place to the side.
In a pan pour 2 tablespoons of oil of your choice. When heated add the onion and carrot and cook for about 2 minutes on high heat. Add the mushrooms cook for a minute then add the mince salt and pepper to taste and break up with a wooden spoon. When half cooked add the marinade mixture you made and stir.  After a minute add one cup of the chicken stock stir and leave to cook on medium to low heat for about 5 to 10 minutes. Add cherry tomatoes and cook for a further 5 minutes add extra pepper and salt if you wish. Add the peas last. Salt may not be needed as soy sauce is salty.

Tear apart lettuce so they form cups. Wash, pat them dry and line them up on a chopping board. Place two to three tablespoons of the mixture in a lettuce cup and garnish with the spring onions. Eat with hands and enjoy!



 Marinated Salmon, on Potato Mash, with Wilted Spinach and cherry tomatoes.

Recipe:

For 4

4 Salmon Fillets skin on
9 potatoes
1-2 tablespoons Olive oil for the mash
Splash of Milk
Salt and pepper

3 cups of baby spinach
garlic
Olive oil (tablespoon)
salt and pepper

Marinade:

Coriander, Lemongrass, Ginger ( from the squeeze tubes in the salad section of supermarket) Use approximately 2 teaspoons of each.
2 tablespoons of soy sauce
2 tablespoons of sweet chilli sauce
A splash of sesame oil
2 thin slices of palm sugar ( or a teaspoon of brown sugar )
1 teaspoon of lime juice or rind. ( you can use both if you like the flavour)
Mix well together in a bowl.

Method:

Place Salmon or fish in the marinade coat evenly. Wrap bowl in glad wrap and leave in fridge for approximately 30 minutes or 10 minutes if your time poor.

Meanwhile cut potatoes into small cubes and boil for about 20 minutes till soft. Drain put back into saucepan and olive oil and some milk, salt and pepper mash and stir. Or make the mash how you like it. I have made mine on the lighter side for this recipe.

Remove Salmon from fridge, slightly heat pan ( griddle pan is the best ) add a tiny amount of olive oil and add salmon skin side down. Cook for about 2 to 3 minutes on each side. If you like it well done cook it for an extra minute. Make sure you don't dry it out. Once done put aside to rest.

Cut garlic into small pieces or dice. Add to a saucepan with the olive oil and heat. When garlic starts to sizzle add the 3 cups of baby spinach and let wilt for 2 minutes take off stove.

Cut about 10 Baby Roma tomatoes in half. Add some salt and pepper and a splash of balsamic vinegar

Arrange mash first on plate, add salmon then spinach on top. Arrange halved tomatoes around your plate. Use left over marinade on top as a sauce.

Tastes fabulous with a good White Wine. Preferably a Semillion Saugvinon Blanc. Even Moscato will do.

Enjoy!


30 minute Quiche.

Recipe:

1 brown onion chopped
2 garlic cloves finely chopped
2 cups frozen mixed peas carrots and corn
4 Mushrooms sliced and quartered
2 x Chorizos quartered. ( You can use left over ham, bacon, chicken if you prefer.)
6 eggs.
1/2 cup of milk
2 tablespoons Olive oil
3 drops sesame oil
2 tablespoons of soy
Dried chives
Salt and pepper Optional.

Method:

Rinse frozen vegies pour into a microwave dish fill with water, Just covering the vegetables. Microwave for 8 minutes
Meanwhile pour olive oil in pan cook onions for two minutes on high. Add Chorizos cook for another minute. Add garlic and mushrooms cook for a minute. Rinse and drain the microwaved vegies add to the pan along with sesame oil and soy. Cook a minute take off heat. Turn oven on to 180 degrees C. Using a rectangle baking dish lightly oil and add baking paper.

Pour cooked vegetable and meat mixture in pan lightly flatten with a spatula to keep even. Beat the eggs, add milk and chives, beat some more and pour into dish. Meat and vegetable mix should be just covered. Cook for 20 minutes or until set. You can add shredded cheese on top if you wish.  Serve with a salad.

Enjoy


Scrambled Eggs and Vegies

This makes a terrific breakfast on toast or can be eaten as a side accompaniment to other dishes.

Recipe: 

1 small brown onion
Half a large Red capsicum
1 tomato
1 cup of baby kale or spinach chopped
2 cloves of garlic
6 eggs
Half a cup of milk of your choice.
Salt and pepper to taste.
 2 tablespoons of Olive Oil.
 Chives.
Method:

Chop all the vegetables to roughly the same size. In a large pan on medium heat 1 one tablespoon of Olive Oil add the onion cook for about a minute. Add red capsicum and tomato cook again for a minute and then add the chopped garlic turn heat to low. Add some more Oil. Beat the eggs and add milk and chives.  You can use fresh or dried.  Add salt and pepper to taste and pour into pan and at the same time pour in your kale or spinach or both if you prefer.  Cook until eggs are just under done and moist.  Serve with a light salad, on toast or eat as it is.





 Oysters Kilpatrick

Makes a fabulous entree or quick snack.

Recipe:

1 dozen Oysters in shell.
Diced or shredded Ham or bacon bits.
Worcestershire Sauce.
Salt and Pepper
Lemon Wedges
Rock Salt
Parsley

Method:
Heat oven to about 180 degrees C.
Using an oven proof rectangular dish pour in the rock salt till its about 1cm high and the base is covered.  Arrange oysters.  Pour in a little Worcestershire Sauce into each one. Add some salt and pepper. Add small handfuls of the ham or bacon. Put in oven turn grill on and grill for about 5 minutes.  Take out of the oven.  Add some more Worcestershire Sauce, Garnish with parsley and cut lemon into wedges.  Eat as is and enjoy..!





 Berry Smoothie:

When you don't have time to cook there is always a smoothie.  Healthy, delicious and will keep you going.


Ingredients:  Serves 2

I big glass of milk of your choice.  I have used Unsweetened Almond Milk
1 handful of Frozen strawberries and raspberries. ( You can use any berries you wish)
1 banana.
1 teaspoon of honey
2 teaspoons of LSA
2 teaspoons of Psyillium Husk
1 teaspoon of chia seeds
Few blocks of ice

Method:

Blend all ingredients together in a blender. Pour in a tall glass or sports flask.  Can hold in the fridge for a day.