Life and Death

Recently there has been quite a few deaths in the celebrity world.  Mostly from drug use and overdoses.  Some from suicide. When I hear about someone taking their own life I am transported back to 1999, the end of my 20's, the end of a century and the end of a life gone way before its time.

Life was pretty fast back then.  Working 3 jobs and partying every other night.  You could say part of it was tough and part of it was fun.  Financially I struggled to pay bills but miraculously managed it all.  I refused handouts. My pride wouldn't allow it and even though there were days I felt alone and depressed, I always knew there was light at the end of the tunnel. That everything would find a way to be sorted out.

But that's me.  Not everyone thinks that way and sometimes for some people there is no light anywhere.  Only a great big, long pit.  A tunnel with no way out and an abyss of darkness.

My friend B was a charismatic, generous, intelligent and all round wonderful human being.  He could make me laugh with his imitations of people and he would astound me with his memory.  He remembered everyone's name after meeting them once, even the difficult ones!  He came from a family of wealth and privilege,  and never wanted materialistically for anything.  He was always there for you, would make sure you were alright and would offer you everything just to make certain you were happy. He was the best friend you could ever have.

But what I didn't know was that B held a dark secret which I only found out much later. Too late in fact.  He was depressed and unhappy with his life. He had been diagnosed with Bipolar (manic depression) and was not managing it.  He was a recreational drug user which only made it worse.  I remember one conversation we had where he said to me "Ana somedays I just don't want to be here, its all too hard"  To which I replied "Don't be ridiculous you have everything you want, your life is not hard at all"

What I didn't understand or forsee was the seriousness of his comment and the gravity of which his depression had taken hold.  A person who gave so much but didn't ask for anything.  He always seemed in control.  Happy go lucky with the occasional off day. He hid his pain and depression very well. That conversation haunts me to this day.  I sometimes don't sleep because I wonder could I have done anything to help him and would he be alive if I just saw the signs.

When I did find out that he had taken his own life, I felt shock, anger, extreme sadness and for days after his funeral I just walked in a daze. I was furious but beside myself at the same time.  I remember his brother telling me to not be angry, to not blame myself that none of us could do anything. But I couldn't help thinking if I had just listened and paid attention maybe just maybe it would have made a difference.

The sad truth is that I most likely would not have been able to do anything.  That someone when determined and when in their dark hour will do what they set out to do.

I was always taught to suck it up when things were tough.  To not feel sorry for myself and to just get on with it.  But even so there were times I even entertained the idea of going away. Permanently. Not  seriously really.   But never could I go through with something like that.   There is nothing worse then seeing your loved one's suffer when you go.  I just couldn't do it to those I know care for me. During B's funeral it struck me just how many people loved and cared for him.  But no amount of love could save him.  For whatever reason he just decided that was it.  He had planned it, he took care of all his finances and left things for his family to find.  He was done.  No Goodbyes.

I have been very ignorant about mental illness.  To me it was a weakness.  I couldn't understand why people couldn't fight it, rise above it.  I always thought killing yourself was the easy way out, that it was selfish and stupid.  But I now see that its a lot more then that.  Over the years I have seen some people get through it with the help of families, friends and therapy.  I have also seen others spiral out of control and never recover.

None of us are born the same, in the same circles or circumstances. Some of us are tough on the outside but extremely fragile and vulnerable on the inside.  I think we should all be mindful of our surroundings.  That we should ask ourselves why this person is the way they are and treat everyone how we would like to be treated.  Never underestimate or overestimate the behaviour of a person and if you see a friend you feel is not coping, ask them if they are ok or just be there for them any way you can.  If you see someone who is coping too well, then that may also be cause for alarm.

For those of us who have children, we can only hope that we can instill in them a sense of self, a strong belief in their abilities and give them the tools to fight their way through this unforgiving world we live in.  Teach them to be strong, to know how to deal with difficult situations and to be compassionate and kind human beings.

B is someone that is very much missed.  Every year I light a candle for him to commemorate his life.  I always hope he has found peace.  He taught me the greatest lesson.  To never take my life for granted and to keep my mind strong.

I would like to think that he would be proud of me and that he knows he was one of my greatest friends.

To anyone out there feeling down and feeling blue.  Tell someone. Tell a friend, a family member. Don't feel you can't open up to someone.  It is hard but its better then battling it alone.  You can also call a hospital or a lifeline number and they will talk with you.  Don't despair and don't sit there thinking you are better off not here.  Chances are there is always a better way and you can get there with a little help.

It doesn't matter if your a celebrity or your average Joe, at the end of the day we are all people no matter where we are from.  No one is invincible, and no one is made of stone.  We all have problems that need dealing with, we just have to push through them and get onto the path that's meant to be.

 You will get there.  Just fight!  Fight for your life and know you need to be here.  The world is a better place for having you in it.

Find a place inside where there's joy, and the joy will burn out the pain.

Joseph Campbell

Read more at http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/j/josephcamp384345.html#CyRzsK0Xq6b5Bdia.99

Find a place inside where there is joy and the joy will burn out the pain:  Joseph Campbell

Quick and Easy.

Some days I really need more then 24 hours to fit in all the things I need to do!!! When I was single and living on my own, I didn't think I had enough time for everything so I would just not worry about it.  I could always, while I was out, eat dinner.  I could leave the washing for tomorrow, cleaning could be done once a week and hey, washing my car would be once a month.

If I was really busy then I could always pop in and visit my mum and dad who would at least feed me.  When I was living interstate, a family would adopt me and I would eat with them once a week or so....or I would whip up something quick and easy, there was no time for extravagant eating.

I felt I was just too busy with my work, my social life, events, holidays that needed planning, trips away for the weekend and let's not forget shopping for shoes, bags or outfits. I had to squeeze it all in.

And then I had kids. Why ever did I think I didn't have time before?  These days the laundry is a never ending pit.  Just when I've completed one cycle here comes another.  The kids need to be fed nutritious meals.  Two minute noodles will not do.  Then there is cleaning the house.  Once a week.  What?  Not any more...try about 4 times a day. I just finish vacuuming and bang something gets spilt or knocked over. The shopping needs to be done, dinner has to be cooked, kids toys need to be put away and I need to fit in a toilet break....Not for the kids but for me!!!.   Then I have to provide entertainment, My baby girl needs her bottle, sleep time, and constant nappy changes. My son wants a DVD, or a game to play or a drink.

Usually its the late evenings when everyone is asleep, and the dishwasher has been filled I can actually sit down and write this blog or read.  Every morning before the kids wake up and while I am getting my day ready, I try and read a bit of the news and check my emails. I do this at the end of the day too. I check all other social media  on my phone while doing other things.. I miss those days when I could read the papers on a Sunday for hours just relaxing in bed in my pajamas.  These days its me reading to my children and its usually a story of some far away land.

I have learnt through all this to at least cook food that is nutritious and doesn't take up too much of my time.  I'm not a fan of junk and I don't like giving it to my kids.  Z and I are not getting any younger so its important we look after ourselves.  I will share some of my go to recipes for you  today.  These are the meals I cook when all I have is about half an hour or less.  They taste great, are easy to make and most of the time I have the ingredients in the pantry, fridge and freezer.  I sometimes vary the recipes depending what on what I have.

Always keep frozen fruit and vegies on hand so you have back up when the fresh stuff runs out. Staples such as rice, cous cous, Quinoa, pasta, polenta, potatoes, lentils, soup noodles, sauces, diced tomatoes, stock, condiments and dried herbs.

We may all be busy, but no reason for us not to eat, take a breath and enjoy our surroundings.


Quote of the day:   "Slow down and enjoy life. It's not only the scenery you miss by going to fast-you also miss the sense of where you are going and why."
--Eddie Cantor



Green or Red Curry Prawn Stirfry

Recipe: 

1/2 Kilo of  Green Prawns tails on
2 large tablespoons of Green Curry paste, you can buy Red or Yellow depending on the level of hotness you like.  Green being the hottest.
I can of light coconut cream
I bunch of Baby Buk Choy
1 small can of sliced waterchesnuts
1 carrot sliced thinly
I can of baby corn spears and stems
1 small bunch of broccoli
4 mushrooms sliced
2 packets of noodles. Any of your choice will do.  Or Jasmine rice.
Vegetable Oil
Sesame Oil
1 teaspoon of Fish Sauce
2 or 3 dried Kaffir lime leaves. (or you can get these in a jar at the supermarket).
1 or 2 limes.

( You can use any vegetables you have for this.  The more you use the better)

Method:

Slice up all the vegetables. In a small girdle pan sear the prawns for 30 seconds on each side with some salt and pepper and remove immediately.
In a wok add two tablespoons of oil,  Add carrots, waterchesnuts, cook for a minute. Add mushrooms, cook for a minute. Then add  the baby corn, cook for another minute add the broccoli.  Cook for another minute.  Add the 2 tablespoons of curry paste, cook another minute.  Add the coconut cream, 4 drops sesame oil, I teaspoon of fish sauce, 1 teaspoon of lime juice, and a couple of Kaffir lime leaves. Add the prawns and simmer for a minute. Add the baby bok choy.  Turn stove off and let flavours combine. Taste and adjust seasoning with salt and pepper if you wish. Meanwhile cook rice or noodles as directed on the packet.  Using bowls, add the rice or noodles with the Prawn Curry on top.  Garnish with some lime wedges.





Thai San Choy Bow

Recipe:

1 Cos lettuce
500 gms of turkey mince or chicken mince.
1 brown onion diced
2 cloves of garlic diced
6 small mushrooms diced
1/2 cup of cooked peas (optional)
I shredded carrot
1 long red chilli (take out if your serving to kids)
4 spring onions sliced into small pieces
1 tomato diced or 6 small cherry tomatoes quartered
1 tablespoon of Light Soy Sauce
1 tablespoon of Ketchap manis
1 tablespoon of Coriander ( from the squeeze jar in the salad section of the supermarket)
1 tablespoon of lemongrass
1 teaspoon of ginger
1 teaspoon of sesame oil
1 teaspoon of lime juice
1 cup of chicken stock ( or one stock cube with one cup of hot water)
salt and pepper to taste.

Method:
Mix together light soy sauce, sesame oil, ketchap manis, coriander, lemongrass, ginger, lime juice, chilli, garlic. Place to the side.
In a pan pour 2 tablespoons of oil of your choice. When heated add the onion and carrot and cook for about 2 minutes on high heat. Add the mushrooms cook for a minute then add the mince salt and pepper to taste and break up with a wooden spoon. When half cooked add the marinade mixture you made and stir.  After a minute add one cup of the chicken stock stir and leave to cook on medium to low heat for about 5 to 10 minutes. Add cherry tomatoes and cook for a further 5 minutes add extra pepper and salt if you wish. Add the peas last. Salt may not be needed as soy sauce is salty.

Tear apart lettuce so they form cups. Wash, pat them dry and line them up on a chopping board. Place two to three tablespoons of the mixture in a lettuce cup and garnish with the spring onions. Eat with hands and enjoy!



 Marinated Salmon, on Potato Mash, with Wilted Spinach and cherry tomatoes.

Recipe:

For 4

4 Salmon Fillets skin on
9 potatoes
1-2 tablespoons Olive oil for the mash
Splash of Milk
Salt and pepper

3 cups of baby spinach
garlic
Olive oil (tablespoon)
salt and pepper

Marinade:

Coriander, Lemongrass, Ginger ( from the squeeze tubes in the salad section of supermarket) Use approximately 2 teaspoons of each.
2 tablespoons of soy sauce
2 tablespoons of sweet chilli sauce
A splash of sesame oil
2 thin slices of palm sugar ( or a teaspoon of brown sugar )
1 teaspoon of lime juice or rind. ( you can use both if you like the flavour)
Mix well together in a bowl.

Method:

Place Salmon or fish in the marinade coat evenly. Wrap bowl in glad wrap and leave in fridge for approximately 30 minutes or 10 minutes if your time poor.

Meanwhile cut potatoes into small cubes and boil for about 20 minutes till soft. Drain put back into saucepan and olive oil and some milk, salt and pepper mash and stir. Or make the mash how you like it. I have made mine on the lighter side for this recipe.

Remove Salmon from fridge, slightly heat pan ( griddle pan is the best ) add a tiny amount of olive oil and add salmon skin side down. Cook for about 2 to 3 minutes on each side. If you like it well done cook it for an extra minute. Make sure you don't dry it out. Once done put aside to rest.

Cut garlic into small pieces or dice. Add to a saucepan with the olive oil and heat. When garlic starts to sizzle add the 3 cups of baby spinach and let wilt for 2 minutes take off stove.

Cut about 10 Baby Roma tomatoes in half. Add some salt and pepper and a splash of balsamic vinegar

Arrange mash first on plate, add salmon then spinach on top. Arrange halved tomatoes around your plate. Use left over marinade on top as a sauce.

Tastes fabulous with a good White Wine. Preferably a Semillion Saugvinon Blanc. Even Moscato will do.

Enjoy!


30 minute Quiche.

Recipe:

1 brown onion chopped
2 garlic cloves finely chopped
2 cups frozen mixed peas carrots and corn
4 Mushrooms sliced and quartered
2 x Chorizos quartered. ( You can use left over ham, bacon, chicken if you prefer.)
6 eggs.
1/2 cup of milk
2 tablespoons Olive oil
3 drops sesame oil
2 tablespoons of soy
Dried chives
Salt and pepper Optional.

Method:

Rinse frozen vegies pour into a microwave dish fill with water, Just covering the vegetables. Microwave for 8 minutes
Meanwhile pour olive oil in pan cook onions for two minutes on high. Add Chorizos cook for another minute. Add garlic and mushrooms cook for a minute. Rinse and drain the microwaved vegies add to the pan along with sesame oil and soy. Cook a minute take off heat. Turn oven on to 180 degrees C. Using a rectangle baking dish lightly oil and add baking paper.

Pour cooked vegetable and meat mixture in pan lightly flatten with a spatula to keep even. Beat the eggs, add milk and chives, beat some more and pour into dish. Meat and vegetable mix should be just covered. Cook for 20 minutes or until set. You can add shredded cheese on top if you wish.  Serve with a salad.

Enjoy


Scrambled Eggs and Vegies

This makes a terrific breakfast on toast or can be eaten as a side accompaniment to other dishes.

Recipe: 

1 small brown onion
Half a large Red capsicum
1 tomato
1 cup of baby kale or spinach chopped
2 cloves of garlic
6 eggs
Half a cup of milk of your choice.
Salt and pepper to taste.
 2 tablespoons of Olive Oil.
 Chives.
Method:

Chop all the vegetables to roughly the same size. In a large pan on medium heat 1 one tablespoon of Olive Oil add the onion cook for about a minute. Add red capsicum and tomato cook again for a minute and then add the chopped garlic turn heat to low. Add some more Oil. Beat the eggs and add milk and chives.  You can use fresh or dried.  Add salt and pepper to taste and pour into pan and at the same time pour in your kale or spinach or both if you prefer.  Cook until eggs are just under done and moist.  Serve with a light salad, on toast or eat as it is.





 Oysters Kilpatrick

Makes a fabulous entree or quick snack.

Recipe:

1 dozen Oysters in shell.
Diced or shredded Ham or bacon bits.
Worcestershire Sauce.
Salt and Pepper
Lemon Wedges
Rock Salt
Parsley

Method:
Heat oven to about 180 degrees C.
Using an oven proof rectangular dish pour in the rock salt till its about 1cm high and the base is covered.  Arrange oysters.  Pour in a little Worcestershire Sauce into each one. Add some salt and pepper. Add small handfuls of the ham or bacon. Put in oven turn grill on and grill for about 5 minutes.  Take out of the oven.  Add some more Worcestershire Sauce, Garnish with parsley and cut lemon into wedges.  Eat as is and enjoy..!





 Berry Smoothie:

When you don't have time to cook there is always a smoothie.  Healthy, delicious and will keep you going.


Ingredients:  Serves 2

I big glass of milk of your choice.  I have used Unsweetened Almond Milk
1 handful of Frozen strawberries and raspberries. ( You can use any berries you wish)
1 banana.
1 teaspoon of honey
2 teaspoons of LSA
2 teaspoons of Psyillium Husk
1 teaspoon of chia seeds
Few blocks of ice

Method:

Blend all ingredients together in a blender. Pour in a tall glass or sports flask.  Can hold in the fridge for a day.

Etiquette

     

I am not Audrey Hepburn, but when I think of the word Etiquette she pops into my head.  A woman with style, well groomed, well dressed for the times and for the weather. A woman with class and a natural beauty.

Where did it all go I sometimes wonder.  I try not to be a judgmental person.  Actually I consider myself to be very understanding and accepting of all styles and classes.  I don't differentiate and I dislike status labels.  I don't like to think of myself as a snob either....that is not what I am.  Snobbery annoys me at the best of times. I am usually flexible in my dress sense, I don't always get it right and by no means am I a fashion expert. However I believe there is a time and a place for everything and then there isn't....

Here's what I mean:  When I was growing up my parents always expected us to be clean, well dressed, on time and ready to go.  We were usually the first one's to arrive.  Upon arriving it was droned into us that we had to shake everyone's hand or kiss them on the cheek 3 times.  Depending on whether they were family or friends would depend on the handshake or kiss.  If someone older then us walked into a room and you were sitting, you had to stand and shake their hand and introduce yourself.  At big functions we had to say hello to all the people we knew and were my parents age or older and then we could go off with our friends and enjoy our evening.  During meal times we had to sit at the table and eat everything on our plate using cutlery according to each course.  We could not leave until the plates were removed.  We were also told to ask questions if we didn't understand something and to participate in conversations as it was impolite to sit there and say nothing.

When it came to what we wore it had to be weather appropriate.  No opened toe shoes in winter. Usually for me it was stockings a skirt a few layers underneath my jumper or coat.  A hat or beanie was optional and gloves too.  In summer it was tasteful dresses and nothing above mid thigh.  My father did not like me wearing a lot of make up in my teens...but I would always sneak in some eyeliner, eyeshadow, mascara and lipstick...sometimes using the lipstick as blush.  We were also taught to be respectful of others, to learn what other nationalities find acceptable or not and to never offend.  Every country has rules regarding etiquette.  Hand gestures, eye contact, bowing, hugging and even kissing all have a different meaning.  In Europe men kiss on the cheek, here in Australia its not the case unless your family is of European background.  So its important to know these things especially if you travel.

These days I still carry with me all of what I was taught in that regard.  If you speak to my child hood friends they will tell you I was always well groomed.  That no matter what my circumstance I always took the time to comb my hair and wear some make up. I also hate being late.  I actually hyperventilate when I think I'm going to be late. When I see people wearing thongs (flip flops) or sandles in Winter with no stockings but a scarf and a hat I don't understand what the thinking process was behind this.  Do you think your going to be warm if your half naked from the waist down?  Then come Summer I find that you get all sorts of things showing up that your eyes may find it a bit too much...

 

      Some good winter attire. A Coat and Boots are always a good staple for the cold months.

You don't have to be naked to look good.  There are some great dresses out there. Maxi dresses look great on nearly everyone. (Unless your a man).





Not all of us were born with size 0 figures.  But some people dress as if it really doesn't matter.  There is nothing wonderful about having bits hanging out and drawing attention for all the wrong reasons..I have many friends in all shapes and sizes. There are so many places you can now go and buy clothing that suits your body shape.  Its not about trying to look wonderful or trendy, its about looking comfortable and happy.  Nakedness should be reserved for behind closed doors. Semi nakedness to the beach in a bathing suit and even that has its limits.  I think trying to look like a street walker is not attractive.

I also don't understand women who are obviously in the twilight of their lives dressing like they are 19.  Recently I saw what I think was an 80 year old wearing shorts almost to her throat. It was not a good look and that image is still in my mind.  That is what triggered my inspiration for this blog today.   What happened to those sweet grandmother's that make you  treats and hug you in their big bosoms wearing clothes right down to the floor.  I miss my Grandmother and could not imagine her wearing anything past her ankles. When I think of her I think of freshly baked bread, a warm fire and her big laugh.  I think I would be mortified if I arrived and she was wearing a mini skirt and dancing on tables.  But we live in a crazy world.  I'm just glad my Grandmother wasn't part of it.


I will most likely get told off for writing this blog.  But I wanted to say that no matter what your shape or size or age, gender, or background.  You can still look amazing without trying to be someone your not or without trying to follow fashion that does not suit you.  Accentuate your best points and for goodness sake in Winter wear a coat or a jumper.  A singlet top and shorts does not count as a Winter wardrobe staple!

I really like the style's they had back in the 1920's, 30's and 40's.  I love it that men wore hats and suits and women had beautiful hairstyles with exquisite clothing.  But most of all the behaviour towards people at that time was also different.  The way someone would look you in the eye, pull out a chair for you and women would just glide.  Even I need to improve in some areas but most of all I think we all need to take a bit of time to show respect not only to other people but to ourselves.
  
 If you can start with YOU then everything else will fall into place. 

     The 1920's Bowler hats and drop waist dresses and skirts.  Hair was neat and tucked away.

The 1930's Butterfly sleeves, shoulder pads for men and women, elegant coiffed bob hairstyles.

1940's Vintage Suit. Hats were popular for both men and women. The fashions of this time were all about accentuating the hour glass figure and most skirts were to the knee with cinched in waist lines.





 “Respect for ourselves guides our morals; respect for others guides our manners”
― Laurence Sterne

Nostalgia

As I sit here in the wee hours of the morning thinking about things I need to do or haven't been done I find myself floating off to a different time.  We all miss parts of our past lives and as I get older I find myself thinking about these times more often then before.

My earliest memories are a mixed bunch. And there are so many of them.   I have the times my brother and myself played on our Grandparent's farm overseas, always finding interesting things amongst the tall grass and trees. An old beat up car was our favourite.  We didn't have cubby houses in those days. It was just us, a few sticks and stones and an empty car we pretended to drive.

 Sometimes we would climb out the window and wait for the horse and cart to come along filled with watermelon. My grandfather would approach the cart pick out the melon and it would be cut up all while sitting under the window sill which was just above the footpath.  Then  we had the days with me running thru cornfields and not coming home till nightfall.  Spending time in European snow was another one.  I still to this day when visiting, jump into the snow and roll around much to everyone's amusement.  In Australia we went up in the mountains to enjoy the snow.  Mt.Buller being our favourite!

 Photo taken not long before we migrated to Australia  in 1971 from left to right: Uncle Ivo, (mums brother) My mum Katarina, my mum's sister Auntie Marija (Mara), my mums other brother  Uncle Miso, My Dad Jozo. Sitting:  My grandfather, mum's dad Pero and my grandmother mum's mother Andjelka and little me....




 

Me rolling around in snow.  This photo was taken Mt. Buller, Victoria approximately 1983



 I do have a memento from the time I picked up a bell that belonged to a goat and then had to run for my life when the Goat decided to chase me.  I was 7 and I still have this bell as a keepsake. Its one of the only things I have left that hasn't broken or been accidentally thrown out.

 The infamous bell I stole from a goat in 1977. Has lasted the test of time. Its one of my most cherished possessions. I can still remember running for my life and gee that was one angry goat.


I also had my first taste of alcohol as a teenager.  It was Kruskovac a sweet pear liquer.  It was very sweet but deadly and I had lots of it....and lots of it came back up again. I have never had this again.  To this day I'm not big on alcohol.  I definitely didn't inherit the Balkan, Baltic or Australian love of drinking.  I also loved the food. (That I did inherit) This was the time when no one even thought about diets nor did we know what that was.  We ate all the wonderful specialties including the tasty stews, creamy, decadent desserts oh and the fresh doughnuts, my mouth waters just thinking about it.

 My first experience with alcohol.  Pear liqueur.  Never again is all I'm going to say about this.

Doughnuts.  Who doesn't love them?  Home made and fresh. Yum.  I would love some right now!



We were lucky to be able to experience a bit of the European lifestyle. Even if we did grow up in Australia!! We brought some of it with us along with everyone else who came here.  I love it that we have the different varieties of food from many diverse cultures and we are so fortunate to be able to experience that.  We had international days at my school.  Everyone would bring food, photo's and dancing groups would show us their style and the music was fabulous.

You can't go without thinking about Summer in Australia.  Back then it wasn't as hot as now. We would spend morning till afternoon on the beach then go across the road to the park and have an evening bbq.  Sometimes it would just be fish and chips wrapped in a newspaper costing almost nothing. Chips were 20c back then for a bag!There would be parents and kids everywhere.  Not to mention our annual holiday down the coast sleeping in tents and running thru the caravan park.

 A special moment between father and daughter. One of our many trips to the beach. A beautiful time.
 Photo taken in 1981 Williamstown Beach Victoria.


I especially remember weekends with my parents.  Actually weeknights too.  We went everywhere with them. No babysitters in sight and my dad would always take us out while my mum worked on Saturday and Sundays.  We would start with either are hearty breakfast of scrambled eggs with sausages and onion mixed in or it would be piping hot Vienna White bread with butter and jam.  We drank coffee but only a light amount in warm milk and we loved it.  We visited museums, parks, the city, rode on trams, ate chocolate out in front of Parliament house. We went to dances, had endless fun parties and visits during the week and they had time for all of this on top of their hard laborious jobs.  They embraced all that was on offer and they gave us the best memories of that time.


My dad took photo's of all our outings and gatherings.  We have so many albums full of a life lived.  The photo's I have on here are all his work.  I am grateful as he has left me so many snapshots of our adventures.

Back in those days there were no fancy cakes bought.  It was all handmade by my mum.  Who is in this picture with me.  Photo taken 1977 Melbourne, Victoria.

New Years Eve not sure what year this was (approx 1981 or 1982) but I do remember the dance and how much fun we had.  My parents, their friends and the kids. Those were some great times.

My brother and I visiting the many parks in Melbourne where we grew up.  We never spent our days indoors.  My father captured this moment perfectly.  The carefree nature of our childhood.

This was taken at Footscray Park.  Behind us is the Maribyrnong River and behind that in the distance is the Flemington Racecourse where The Melbourne Cup is held every year.  My dad always made us pose for photos and we always complained.




I have to laugh  I spent quite a bit of my childhood in the 70s and 80s.  The fashion we had back then borders on horrendous and insane. First we had flares, crochet tops and everything was tight at the waist, flared at the bottom and brown in colour mostly! Then came the bubble gum jeans and leg warmers on top.  Fluorescent T-Shirts and socks, bangles and netting on top of your clothes. Sniff and scratch shirts became popular and Choose Life T-shirts from the band Wham which stirred up controversy in its own right.  We had those big wide belts and puffy skirts and who could forget shoulder pads and bright make up that stood out for kilometres.

Me in my 70's get up.  Blue Flares, Orange top, white hat. Bit of a mish mash but fashionable for the times.  This photo was taken in 1976. We were off to the Melbourne Zoo.

Bubble Gum Jeans.  This is exactly what they looked like and how tight they were.  I think now they have the modern version and its called Skinny Jeans.  I must admit they were comfortable.




 And let's not talk about hairstyle's...ok well let's talk about hairstyles.  The gravity on some of our hair do's in the 80's would even defy space.  The amount of hairspray, mousse, gel and whatever else kept hair up was astounding.  I honestly don't know how any of us have hair left.  ( Well some of us don't ). And then there was the perm.  I had 3 of them and boy did I think I looked good.  I wasn't the only one with the perm.  The boys were loving their curly mullets.  It was a sign of masculinity back then. haha.

 What most guys looked like back in the 80's.  A perm was a big deal.  A permed mullet was an even bigger deal.  You were cool and you knew it.  We can only laugh now.




But besides all that is laughable some of the best music came from the 70's and 80's.   I remember rocking to Foreigner, Kiss, Whitesnake, AC/DC, Mondo Rock, INXS, Bon Jovi, Bruce Springstein, Twisted Sister, Pet shop boys and then you had Wham, Adam Ant, Billy Idol, Boy George, Belinda Carlisle, Pat Benetar, Cindy Lauper, Madonna, Brian Ferry, Michael Jackson, Cool and the Gang, Lionel Ritchie, Chaka Khan, MC Hammer,  and many many more.  It will take up another page to write them all down. Let me not forget break dancing.  Every child wanted to master it and you would find kids everywhere practicing. We had the teenage angst movies, Breakfast Club, St.Elmos Fire, 16 Candles,  There was Police Academy and Flashdance, Footloose  and who could forget Patrick Swayze in Dirty Dancing. I remember Night clubs were called Discos, we had no mobile phone's so I wonder how we ever organized to go out and meet up.  None of us used the internet or the computer, there was no social media and to ask someone out you had to get a home phone number and call. Most of the time your father would answer and  that would be the end of that.  haha.

 80's singer Adam Ant.  Real name: Stuart Leslie Goddard. Lead singer of Adam and the Ants.

 80's female pop star Cindy Lauper.  Real name: Cynthia Ann Stephanie Lauper.  Famous for songs such as:  Girls just wanna have fun and Time after time. 

 One of my favourties INXS.  Great Australian Rock Band. Cannot wait for the mini series about their lives.  Never Tear Us Apart and Original Sin are just two of their hits.

 The movie Flashdance.  We all wanted to be Jennifer Beale and dance like her.  Until we found out she had a body double.  Leg warmers and sloppy joe tops never looked so good.

 Every teenagers favourite highschool movie about detention.  I could watch this over and over and never tire of it. Some very funny moments. Detention was never like this at my school.

And who could forget the movie Dirty Dancing.  We were all in love with Patrick Swayze and wanted to be flipped, twirled and held. The one line that's stayed with us:  No one put's baby in the corner!!!

Break dancing.  I tried so many times and just couldn't do it.  The dance started on the street and exploded world wide.  We didn't have Gangham style.  We had Break dance style.



I sometimes wish for those times.  Everything seemed easier and more romantic.  Every generation will most likely say the same thing about their time as kids and teenagers. But I think these days the world of Information Technology has taken a bit of the mystery out and bombarded us with too many images of things that are really confusing and not appealing.  Too many choices and not enough imagination.

I worry for my children.  They will have to be extra careful with what they put out there and what they do with photos, videos and anything else that can be bought, sold and used to embarrass and bully. We live in a time very different to our own childhood and of our parents beforehand.   The teachings of those times are outdated.  Some things like discipline have had to be streamlined.  No more whipping from parents. Its illegal.  You have to learn to adapt and help your children cruise through this world with as much guidance, support and love as you can.  You can hold onto a few things like respect and teaching your children to be kind human beings.

I will in time take my children overseas and hopefully they will experience a little of what I did in those days.  If not eating watermelon outside then maybe having an ice cream from the man selling them on the bike or rolling around in snow and having a white Christmas.  Who knows they may even have their own goat chase them and bring home a keepsake.

But whatever the experience they have I hope they can look back fondly as I do and have no regrets about days gone by.  Life is to be enjoyed and memories are to be made. Material things are temporary but when you leave this world you take your past and present with you.  The future you give to your children and those that are left behind.

Your legacy is your memories.


The only real treasure is in your head. Memories are better than diamonds and nobody can steal them from you”
― Rodman Philbrick, The Last Book in the Universe

Forever Young

People often ask me what I do to stay looking young.  I sometimes have to think about this before I answer.  I have noticed quite a few changes physically since I turned the big 40.  Not excluding the fact that I have had two children in the last 3 years.

I personally believe there are a few factors, a combination of things that may help you retain some youthfullness in your middle years and beyond.  I have not tried any cosmetic procedures/surgery so I can't comment on Botox or fillers.  But I am not against it.  Heck I might even try a little bit some day.  But only a small amount.  I don't want to end up looking like a duck or a puffed up balloon like some unfortunate celebrities.  I do think there is such a thing as tasteful cosmetic surgery. People like Cher, Christie Brinkley and Joan Collins got it right.

But let's face it.  Most of us are not celebrities and we do not have the resources or the money to give us that extra helping hand.  There are some things you can do and my advice will only come from my own experience.  Its what works for me and recently I have changed a few things in my repertoire.

Also before I go further your genetic disposition also comes to play.  My parents always looked young for their ages so I think that has passed over to me.  However I won't be taking it for granted.

First thing I'm going to stress is this:

Tip 1:  Keep out of the Sun as much as possible. Use the highest possible sunscreen you can find for your face or find a moisturizer that has sunscreen in it. When I was younger you would find me at the beach sun baking just like most people.  But the weather has changed, the Sun is stronger and rates of skin cancer have risen.  Even though I have Mediterranean, Olive skin I have made a conscious effort to keep out of the way of direct sunlight.  Its been 10 years now and I see the benefits.  I so far have no wrinkles on my face however from my earlier sun exposure I do have pigmentation.  So I know how bad the sun can be.

 
If you cannot bear to part from the beach and summer days at least wear sunscreen. Avoid sun baking between 10 and 2 (if not longer) and never ever sun bake your face.  Wear a hat and sunglasses.  You will be grateful in the long run when you see how good your face is and how much better you will look as you age.


Nivea Light Feel Sun Veil 30+
A good inexpensive light moisturizer with high sunscreen content.  I use this one.

Tip 2:  Always moisturize.  Day and night.  Find a moisturizer that works for you.  It doesn't matter if you have dry, combination, normal or oily skin you still need to keep the moisture balance in your face.  A good idea is to change your moisturizers every 10 years including your eye cream. When I was in my late teens early 20's my skin was a lot more oily, then later more combination.  Now I'm still a combination type but I also use anti aging products. You don't have to spend big bucks on this either.  There are some great products that don't cost a fortune.  As long as you stick to a routine your on the right track.

Olay Total effects SPF 15 Anti Ageing:
 A great all round middle range daily moisturizer.  I usually use this one in winter.

Olay Regenerist Night cream:
is hands down the best night cream I have ever used in my life.  I have gone off and tried other products but I always come back to this one.  Keeps my skin supple without the greasy feeling.

Olay Age defying eye gel:  
A lightweight cooling gel great for dark circles and puffy under eyes.  I have been using this one for about 5 years and I have nearly no wrinkles around my eyes. It absorbs really well and helps eye make up glide on.

Tip 3:  Always, always take your make up off before going to bed.  I think in all my life I have only ever slept with my make up on once and I regretted it.  A beautifully made up face goes a long way, but not taking it off goes an even longer way in destroying your skin.  It gets sucked into your pores and damages all those beautiful cells that rejuvenate your skin at night time.  You can now buy some good cleansers to get rid of your makeup or make up remover wipes.

Neutrogena make up remover wipes.
Takes off eye make up too.

.

Avon Moisture effect eye make up remover.  

Takes off even the most stubborn smokey eye.  I use this one every night along with my Loreal  Revitalift cleanser.  This one does not strip your skin of its natural oils and takes off all make up.  Highly recommend!

                                                              

Tip 4:  Exfoilate: It is a good idea every 2 or 3 days to use a scrub and take off the dead skin that sits on the surface of your face. I do this after cleansing and usually on a day when I'm washing my hair.  Doing this regularly will keep your skin bright and give it a glow.  Try using a scrub that isn't too harsh on your skin.    Kiehl have a really good one and smells fantastic too.

Recently I have tried the Skin Doctors Powerbrasion kit that comes with its own tool.  I have been using this for about 8 weeks and have noticed a difference in the size of my pores and overall feel of my skin.  I would recommend this as a treat once a year for 8 to 10 weeks.  Comes with its own AHA cream too.




                            



If you cannot do anything else the four tips above are basics.  Even with 2 children I have found time to follow my basics.   If you want to be a bit more adventurous you can look into serums ( which I also use) and a good mask once a week.  Choose one that you feel comfortable using and suits your skin tone. I sometimes don't get time to do this but some of the new masks out there only require 5 minutes.  And if you have all the time in the world, look into getting a facial once every month or six weeks.

Serums to look out for:  Avon Anew Vitamin C serum.
 I have used this and noticed an improvement in the overall texture of my skin.  This particular one isn't drying and gives the skin a smooth finish.  

Clarins has an excellent serum.  If you have a bit of extra money spend the most of it on a good serum.  When I have money to splurge I do it on this.

Masks:  Olay Pro x  a great treatment mask and is hydrating.

St. Ives have a cheaper alternative.  Works just as well.

A good idea is to visit a dermatologist or skin care specialist and get them to test your skin and tell you what your skin type is.  Even if you don't want to buy any of the products they sell you can find out what is best for you. 

Besides the topical products you also need to look at what your eating and your habits.  Now I'm not going to say I've been perfect.  I was a smoker for quite a few years ( a social one) but none the less. I started in my late 20's and quit after my second pregnancy and during both pregnancies.  I must say since then my skin has improved and I have noticed a brighter look in my eyes.

That would have been my only and worst vice. I'm not a drinker and I have never taken drugs.  I think sometimes when you are young you feel invincible, but believe me your habits will catch up with you.  The trick is not to have too many bad habits.  If you smoke, drink, eat junkfood, don't get any sleep are always unhappy it will show on your face.  Try to get enough sleep.  A minimum of 7 hours is recommended.  I used to get my 7-8 hours before my kids.  I still have a 9 month old baby who breaks my sleep but once she gets into a better routine I will go back to having my quality sleeps!

I have always followed a pretty balanced diet. With every meal I have had, I have included raw vegetables and cooked ones too.  I've stayed away from fats, I don't drink coffee ( except in the past an occasional latte when out with friends but not anymore). Taking a multivitamin can also help in maintaining inner balance and if you have issues with food intolerances see your doctor who may prescribe some other vitamins that will suit you best. I am not good with taking pills but they have invented gummy vitamins and now it's a bit easier to swallow.

One other thing I will mention is, I have not had soft drink since I was a child.  Actually I think soft drink is disgusting.  If it can dissolve a rat and a tooth then you might want to think about what your putting into your body.  To me its like getting a bucket of sugar and swallowing it.  So I would say cut it out or cut it back....I recently read a book called  "The Beauty Detox Foods" by Kimberly Snyder. .....which really opened my eyes to some of the foods and drinks we put into our body.  She gives you step by step instructions on what certain foods does to your body and which one's are the best to keeping you looking good and staying young.

Any type of exercise you can manage is good too.  Lately I have been a bit slack in this department but am getting better.  If you can find at least 30 minutes then do it. All thru my school years, teens and 20's I did some form of sport. My 30's I did mostly walking and Yoga.  I will shortly be going back to this routine.  I have already started at home.  Its not about how hot your going to look its about the health benefits.  Feeling fit and active will improve all facets of your life.

The final thing I think keeps you looking youthful is your state of mind. Positive attitude is something that makes even the most elderly person look vibrant.  You need to find a balance and that thing that gives you a spring in your step.  If you can maintain this always, your face and your mental state will thank you.  I know its not possible to always be feeling happy. There were times I thought how do I get thru this?  But it is possible to pick yourself up and smile. Positivity attracts Positivity. Bad things will happen but its how you deal with it that's important.

If all else fails remember, you can always start tomorrow.



 “Youth is happy because it has the capacity to see beauty. Anyone who keeps the ability to see beauty never grows old.”
― Franz Kafka